It's my heart and I cry if I want to

 Some time went by and they started talking to each other again.  It was there, when she learned about the consequences of the message she sent to his daughter.  He told Carmen that his daughter had put him in "the shit" list and gave him a third grade.  Why?  Why all that fuss!? Well, he told the story about how he thinks he destroyed a marriage.  Some mother of some kids known to his daughter.  And Carmen couldn't help but think: what the heck does this have to do with me? She told him that, among other things, no one can "destroy" a marriage.  If someone else can sneak in and break it, it was because there were big cracks already and all that marriage needed was a pry bar to break into pieces.  She knew it well because she had problems during her 20+ year marriage, they had issues like any other couple.  They were separated at some point as well.  But being not loyal was not in her book.   If you are tired of your relationship just let it go.  Don't fool

 Of course, when you start liking someone and you start exchanging messages and having some intimacy, you don't know what to expect, or what does the other person have in their minds. Sometimes when you like someone, you just let yourself go.  She was busy but owned her schedule.  Him, on the other part, seemed to be even busier so she left it up to him to decide when and where they would see each other again. Weeks went by, maybe a couple of months, and his MO was always the same:  meeting for lunch, going to a hotel, having sex and then back home.  The only thing she felt made a difference between her and a prostitute was that she was not being paid for that. Same thing.  Always.  At some point she started wondering if they would ever have a normal date.  Because she thought she was starting a normal relationship.  Intuition told her that this guy was not a "one woman" man.  His insistence in his happiness being single and a couple of little lies she caught him in made

 Things changed a bit at some point when she found out that yeah, he was pretentious but no red flags were risen at all.  Not a creep, a weirdo or a psycho.  It all changed the night she was taking a shower and when she finished, found a text message and a missed call.  The message said "this is your neighbor.  One of your horses is near my pond"    She felt like all of her blood fell to her feet.  She apologized, wrapped her hair in a towel, and ran toward her neighbor's house with a bucket half full of sweet feed.  Of course, it had to be Peanut, a black miniature horse, the one who invaded the yard with fancy green grass.  She cursed a lot on the way to gather him.  "Why here, why precisely here, this house, the house of this idiot?" Once again, and having put Peanut in a stall, she apologized to her neighbor and thanked him for not getting mad at the intruder or at her. There was one thing that would always make a difference for Carmen and her perception of